The Gospel in Real Life

One of the most difficult things to watch is when a believing friend or acquaintance becomes beleaguered, hounded, or trapped in some sin. It’s usually, but not always, something that sneaks up on them and because it isn’t noticed right away, it overwhelms them at some point and they become caught in its deceptive web and they need help getting out. Sometimes, in our ongoing battle with remaining sin, it can knock us around and get the best of us. In those times, we are to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:1-2) by coming alongside and helping. Bearing one another’s burdens in a more general sense should be a normal part of the church’s ongoing body life to begin with (Romans 15:1-3). It should be normal. But how do we restore a person who is caught in some sin that they just seem to get overwhelmed by and can’t escape? I’ve found that there are two lines of thought, or two options that are practiced.

Option #1: Ostracize and Banish
Unfortunately, this can be a very popular reaction and response to someone who is struggling or caught in sin. We can be quick to banish the person and keep them at arm’s length, thinking that we’re doing them, and God, a great and noble service. When we exercise this option, we take a hard stance against the person caught in sin and we somehow convince ourselves that our hard-line approach is helping them. We sway ourselves into thinking that ostracizing them is somehow better than talking with them and encouraging them. It’s been my experience that when we exercise this kind of hard-line tactic, we very often end up having to deal with our own sin of pride, arrogance, and self-righteousness somewhere along the way because quite often, the use of such harsh tactics against someone caught in sin is rooted in my own pride as I begin thinking to myself, “What are they doing? I would NEVER do what they’re doing!” I become quick to pass harsh and critical judgment on the person and I convince myself that I’m doing what is best for them by ostracizing them and refusing to have any dialog with them, or even get near them. After all, they are caught in sin.

Just as unfortunate is the result that this tactic can often produce in the form of gossip and slander. Because it can so easily feed my own imperfect sense of justice, which seems to almost always be biased toward self, it becomes easy to justify gathering a crowd of fellow hard-liners around myself for the purpose of convincing each other that our hard-line approach is the best or only tactic. It’s easy to then fall into gossip and slander as we resort to talking critically with others about the person struggling with sin instead of talking directly to the person caught in sin. I’ve seen attempts made to justify gossip and slander in these difficult situations by giving them different names. Instead of calling it gossip and slander, we might be tempted to call it “giving the history” or “filling in the blanks”, or “bringing others up to speed.” This amazes me, but we’ve somehow convinced ourselves that gossip is ok as long as I’m telling others what I believe to be right. I’ve heard attempts at justifying gossip and slander stated in several different ways:

• “Well, I wasn’t gossiping. I was merely letting Joe know what’s happened.”
• “It wasn’t slander. I’m merely filling them in on things and keeping them up to date.”
• “I wasn’t gossiping because what I said is true.”

When we resort to harsh and critical tactics in restoring someone caught in sin, we forget about the grace that brought us into the kingdom and that keeps us there. We quickly forget that God demonstrated his love for us while we were still his enemies (Romans 5:6-8). We conveniently disregard the kindness and mercy of God that he exercised toward us in bringing us to repentance, when what we deserved is his anger and wrath (Ephesians 2:7-8). We forget that God did not ostracize or banish us, but instead showered us with grace, kindness and mercy. In this pool of sinners turned saints that Scripture calls the church, we would do well to remember to practice Paul’s words,

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (Ephesians  4:31-5:2, emphasis mine)

Option #2: Encourage, Warn, and Persuade
I thrive on encouragement. So do you. We’re all wired that way and we all thrive on hearing encouraging words. If you’re one who thrives on words of discouragement intended to bring you down, you should seek help. Just saying. The writer of Hebrews understood the power of encouragement. If ostracizing and treating others with disdain when they are struggling with sin, or contemplating sinful decisions or actions is such a good thing, the writer of Hebrews blew a perfect chance to model it for us. His audience was contemplating abandoning the faith completely but instead of shunning them and treating them harshly, he turned to words of encouragement, beautifully blended with urgency, warnings, and the message of the gospel.

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end. (Hebrews 3:12-14, emphasis mine)

Sometimes our dialog with someone struggling with sin involves warnings and admonishment, but through it all, dialog continues and because it does, we can always bring it back to the encouragement that is in the gospel that we all so desperately need to hear. Again, the writer of Hebrews models this for us. After warning his readers of the dangers of abandoning the faith, he returns to these words,

Though we speak in this way, yet in your case, beloved, we feel sure of better things—things that belong to salvation. For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do. And we desire each one of you to show the same earnestness to have the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises. (Hebrews 6:9-12, emphasis mine)

All of us desperately need to hear this kind of encouragement that comes from the gospel. Paul tells us plainly how to gently treat someone who is caught in sin.

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:1-2)

The “spiritual” that he references in this passage aren’t the super-saints within the church. There is no such thing. The spiritual are those who are not caught in sin at that particular juncture. This can be a moving target because those who are spiritual this week may be caught in their own sin next week. That’s why there is a warning to “keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” Regardless, the spiritual are to restore those who are caught in sin.

Continuing dialog is also implied by the word “restore.” It’s impossible to restore someone if I am ostracizing or banishing them and refusing to spend time with them. There’s no such thing as restoration in a vacuum. Restoration implies an ongoing and productive relationship on some level. It also means that I am investing time with the person in a helpful way, not in a way that destroys and tears down. Restoration can often be a long and winding road. I’ve found that the Holy Spirit’s work in a person’s life is seldom on my schedule, as much as I like that idea. The reverse is true as well. I am not as spiritual as I sometimes like to think that I am and it can take a long time for the Lord to reveal something to me about my own life that needs attention. That’s not because He isn’t sovereign or couldn’t just force His will on me if He so desired, but it is because He is always gentle with me. In almost 40 years as a Christian, He has never been harsh with me, even when I’ve been at my worst. This is why Paul said that the work of restoration was to be done in a spirit of gentleness. I’m not the sovereign Lord of heaven and earth and I don’t know how he’s going to work in someone’s life, but I cannot rush His work, become impatient, or treat someone harshly or shun them because I think they should be making better progress, or that they should simply be able to snap out of it and shape up. I wish it were that simple, but it’s usually not. Bearing each other’s burdens in this context can become difficult and time consuming.

Unfortunately, this already difficult situation can be easily compounded when we find ourselves, as the one coming alongside, being criticized for our decision to seek restoration this way by others who prefer a more hard-line stance. Suddenly and unexpectedly, we’ve become the target of criticism and condemnation simply because we’ve chosen to practice Galatians 6:1-2 to the best of our abilities, which are always imperfect and tarnished. Without warning, we can find ourselves on the receiving end of criticism as others begin to unfairly judge our motives and reasons for helping. At those times, remember Peter’s words. I leave you with these:

For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. (1 Peter 2:19-23)

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” (1 Peter 3:8-12)

The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:7-8)

Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good. (1 Peter 4:19)